在温泉之旅中，一对情侣从我们身边走过，那男的偷偷瞄了我一眼。我对丈夫撒娇说：“那个男的看了我一眼，怎么办？” husbands自得地笑着说：“没事，我看了他妻子好几眼呢，咱们赚了！”

在家务劳动中，我总能挑出漏洞来。昨天洗完了碗，瞥见妻子拿起不锈钢锅重复地看，还不时点点头。我赶快上前：“怎样，洗得够洁净吧？” wife说：“没注意，我就是照一下头发。”

husband睡不着，我问他怎么了，husband说：“今天老板请我们喝咖啡了。” I say：“你明知道自己喝咖啡睡不着，干吗还喝？” husband说：“不要钱的东西不喝，一样睡不着。”

husbands陪我去看芭蕾舞表演，我发现旁边的人竟然低头睡着了。于是，我推了一下husband：“喂，你看那个男的居然睡着了，太过度了！” husband歪过头对我说：“就为这鸡毛蒜皮的小事把我弄醒，你也够过度的！”

隔邻小两口在打骂，husband想过去劝架，我问他：“人家小两口打骂，你去乱来和什么？” husband："I wouldn't let them fight, or who would stop us when we quarrel in the future?"

闺蜜是个韩剧迷，她丈夫是个球迷。某天晚上有球赛，她俩因为抢电视机遥控器打起来。她一气之下找我哭诉。我问她，“电视遥控器最后归谁了？" 她边哭边说，“老王”。 我迷惑道，“这个老王是谁啊？我怎么没据说过。” 她哭的声音更大，“一个修电视机的……”

I tell my wife, "I thought the biggest blessing from above was our child." She replies, "And what about me?" I say, "You are the blessing from above."

In buying watermelons with my wife, the vendor refuses to give a discount. So I say to him,"How come you only sell one for five bucks? Same as your wife - 100 kilos!" The vendor retorts,"Same as your wife - 150 kilos! Wait till you calm down..."